the birth story (in case you're interested in reading my diary)

Honestly, I don’t think I could have imagined a better scenario.  Here it is from (before) the beginning.

{Saturday, June 11}

One of my very best friends, Kira Joy Miller got married on this day, and thankfully Noella hadn’t shown any signs of coming just yet.
  

Morning: breakfast with Andrew, Ezra and my mama and a new (old) car seat purchase.  Decided we needed one that actually fit into our car.  My sis had given us one, but it was too long and forced the front seat passenger to sit with knees touching the glove box.  No bueno.  Got one for 40 smackers from KSL.  Booyah. 

Afternoon: much fun getting ready for the wedding with all the girls.  Painting toenails, begging someone to do my hair for me, taking pictures and laughing/freaking out at how late we were going to be, etc.  We all made it fully clothed, looking fabulous, and ready to get the party started.

Evening: I had the privilege of participating in one of the most beautiful weddings!  Kira was stunning in her (mom-made) wedding gown.  The bridesmaids were giddy and giggling and so excited to be a part of it all.  Aaron, the groomsman I was to accompany up the aisle, was just as nervous as he had been at rehearsal.  With 2 pregnant ladies, he was terrified of having to walk the aisle with one of us.  Lucky for him, he got the one who was about to pop!  He tried everything the night before to switch the order, but didn’t succeed.  And we did everything we could to scare him more.  I told him to reconsider the flip flops because if my water broke, it would get on his feet.  All jokes aside, I'm so glad I got to be a part of it!  And the reception was seriously fun!  Ezra and Violet were the stars of the show when the band started to play.  They were dancing their little diapers off.  (Sorry Vi, I know you are potty trained, and weren’t wearing a diaper...it just sounds funny.)  And I don’t know whose idea it was to serve italian ice, but that was my first time having it.  Amazing!  I’ll have to take Noella on lots of italian ice dates because we shared about a dozen cups of the stuff that night.  As with all weddings, the bride seemed a bit preoccupied and typically swarmed with people, so I enjoyed chatting with so many other people that I rarely see.  


The routine for the rest of the week went like this: walk, pull weeds, take a nap, pull more weeds, another walk.  I relaxed for a week or so before the wedding, but as soon as Kira became Mrs. Anthony Tran, I was ready to have a baby.  We were hoping before the weekend was over.  That didn’t happen.  But we sure tried.  Andrew was so good to go walking with me every spare moment.  He knew he had to do something to keep me from melting down every afternoon, I guess.

{Tuesday, June 14}

The due date.  I pulled weeds like crazy.  It was better than sitting still, wondering when and letting myself get crazy.  Got invited to dinner at the Cook’s house along with some special guests.  John & Claudia Gross were in town for the night along with their kids Angelia, Nico & Jonathan.  I’d spent many summers with them trekking back and forth to Mexico.  They graciously let me live with them for the better part of 3 summers.  Stefanie and Ethan were still in town, too, so it was a beautiful evening filled with beautiful friends.  I was happy to put off meeting Noella for that dinner.

{Wednesday, June 15}

Double -Ad Wednesday at Sunflower Market.  I bought a pineapple.  Stef suggested it.  She’d heard it might help.  Over the next few days, I ate the entire thing by myself.  It was delicious, but didn’t induce labor.  Neither did the full moon.

{Thursday, June 16}

Zoo day!  My sister Ange came down with her kids, and we met them at the zoo.  Man, I got a lot of walking in that day.  And by the time I got home, I was exhausted!  I didn’t even consider making dinner.  Just suggested Noodles, and off we went.  I ordered a spicy dish instead of my usual penne rosa w/parmesan crusted chicken.  Didn’t enjoy it too much because I couldn’t stop drooling over Drew’s penne rosa w/parmesan crusted chicken.  Did he even give me a bite?  Did I even ask?  All I know is that all the old wive’s tales I tried were nothing but old wive’s tales. 

{Friday, June 17}

Surprise!  Andrew surprised me by taking the day off.  We had a great day running random errands, and then I spent the afternoon knitting in a coffee shop with my buddy Autumn.  A much needed distraction and break from walking and weed pulling.  One of our errands included the health food store for some allergy tonic.  Since we were there, we asked about labor-inducing herbs and went home with some black and blue cohosh.  I took it for a while (terrible stuff, by the way), but after Googling it and reading a hundred different opinions, I freaked myself out and quit.

{Saturday, Sunday, June 18 & 19}

Same old.

{Monday, June 20...labor day} 

I was a housekeeping whirlwind that morning.  That was my clue.  Maybe I was nesting.  Aaahh, how I love freshly mopped floors and clean sheets!  After that, I went out back to pull weeds.  Until the neighbor kids hit a baseball that landed less than a foot from my son.  I quickly asked them to hit in the other direction, and hightailed it into the air conditioned house.  I was ready for a nap.  I lay down for about 20 minutes, but couldn’t sleep because the boys were now occasionally smacking the ball into our house.  Gotta love four bored 13 year olds.  


When Andrew got home from work, we gobbled down some turkey burgers and went to the park for another walk.  I was determined to have a baby that night because I really didn’t want to go to the 2 doctor’s appointments that were scheduled for the next day.  And, I thought I was feeling a few contractions.  I told Andrew not to get his hopes up because I’m no expert, but it just might be time.  Walked for about an hour.  Called my sis and my mom to give them a head’s up.  (Ange was planning to bring Mom down to stay with Ezra when we went into labor.)  Still contracting.  Went to Sunflower Market for a few groceries.  Didn’t want Mom to starve if she came that night.  Home to sit still for an hour before deciding it was for real.  Watched “So You Think You Can Dance.”  Read up on Braxton-Hicks vs. real contractions.  Called Ange back, and she was on her way.  And not a moment too soon.  By the time they pulled up at 10 pm, I was showered, packed and waiting moaning by the door.
  

Got to the hospital and swore for the first time that night.  Forgot my ID.  They easily recognized my distress, and let it go.  But not before harassing my poor husband.  Andrew: “I have my ID, if it helps.”  The curt reply: “Yeah, but you don’t have a uterus.”  What?  Whatever.  Some nurses arrived to usher us into our room.  They were on their way out after a shift change, but before they left, I got some advice that stuck with me the entire night.  “Breathe oxygen in because your baby needs it, and then breathe your baby out.”  Pain with a miraculous purpose.  My baby needs my help.  And then came our nurse for the rest of the night and our attending midwife.  Both much prayed for as we prepared for the birth.  They were amazing!  I wanted to birth unmedicated, and they never once mentioned medication.  Had they brought it up first, I would have more easily changed my mind.

If the following is TMI, I did mention in the title that this was a story about birth.  Feel free to stop reading at any point.  I had the sway down for a contraction standing up.  Deep breathing was my other technique.  Andrew plugged in the music.  (Thank you, Norah Jones.)  My strategy was divided into 3 parts.  1) be dilated to a 5 or 6 by the time I got to the hospital 2) get to an 8 w/o complaining too much 3) realize that it's too late to turn back and finish it off.  And that’s basically what happened.  I was at 5 cm when they first checked me, 7 cm at check #2, and almost fully dilated at check #3.  I labored in the regular bathtub until they kicked me out to fill up the big birth tub.  I went pee and stayed on the toilet for several contractions.  I was feeling quite comfortable there, but Andrew insisted I get up when the nurse and midwife came to check on me and both started laughing.  Labored in the big, fancy kiddie pool for a while, but decided it wasn’t for me.  So much for the hour it took to set it up.  Time was flying.  Every time I asked, a couple of hours had passed. By check #3, however, I was starting to lose it.  Andrew says I don’t have it in me to be really mean, but by my standards, I was getting mean.  When I think about it now, I want to send an apology/thank you for putting up with my nonsense note to my midwife.  She had me lie down on my side to help the last millimeters of cervix open.  She gave me fair warning that it would up the anty, but man, it hurt!  I remember saying, “I’m feeling a lot of pressure,” my voice rising in pitch to just a squeak.  The midwife chuckled and said, “I’m sure you are.”  Andrew was rubbing my neck with lotion (Thanks, Bath & Body Works for making such an amazing scent--eucalyptus spearmint) and praying for me.

I’ll spare you the details of the next half hour, mostly because all I remember is feeling totally out of control of myself.  All I could do was cry out.  Andrew says he shed a few tears at this point.  It was actually quite spiritual for him because he was thinking of how Jesus was tortured for us, and what it really means to be re-born.  He hid it very well, and I didn’t notice.  Probably because I was trying to muffle my screams and imagine myself at the beach drinking a mojito.  The only other thing I remember saying ( in my most whiny voice) is “I DON’T know what you mean,” after the nurse said it might help if I held onto my legs.

It all ended with a beautiful baby girl being laid on my chest.  They are so fleeting, but such rare moments are incredibly moving.  I didn’t cry very much, but actually couldn’t stop shivering and shaking.  And I couldn’t stop smiling.  At least until the nurse gave me a shot in the leg.  I’ve always prided myself on being a tough girl when it comes to shots, but at that moment, I couldn’t handle any more pain.  So I whined about it.

And the story isn’t complete without saluting my knight in shining armor!  Holy cows, I could not have done it w/o Andrew.  I guess you have no choice but to finish it off once labor starts, but it would not have been a beautiful and meaningful experience without him.  We spent about 10 hours laboring together, beginning with a fun trip to the park with our boy and Cat Deely, a lot of craziness in the middle, and ending at 3 am with a baby in our arms.  I wouldn’t want to fight through something like that hand-in-hand with anyone else in the entire world.  I LOVE YOU LOUD, ANDREW ASHBY!